You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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