Whod you bang
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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