I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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