how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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