if i can run in heels then i can drive
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
