just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Say something about gay babies.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
