I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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