Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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