With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
