Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
