I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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