dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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