doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize