Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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