You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this will be a night to untag.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
