Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
