K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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