Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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