the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
