eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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