I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
