Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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