is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
