i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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