1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
