yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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