Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
