You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
