I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My vagina just recognized that song.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Randomize
