Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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