This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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