I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
