Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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