All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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