you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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