Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
