Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
