I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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