You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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