Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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