Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
