if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
