Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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