Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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