I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just want to make out with him forever
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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