Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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