found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
