Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
