just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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