I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
