Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
