How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
