I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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