there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
wow bdsm is so cute
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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