I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
