Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
