peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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