I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
