they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
