No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
