I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
